


Lady Dippingsauce

by LeelaSmall



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Crossdressing, Gen, walk walk fashion baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:29:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23736892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeelaSmall/pseuds/LeelaSmall
Summary: Dipper needs infiltrate an all-girls party to get his hands on an ancient paranormal artifact... but at what cost? Requested by JBlaser on FanFiction.net
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Lady Dippingsauce

“Aaaand… done! You can open your eyes and marvel at my genius!”

Pacifica Northwest opened her eyes and turned to examine herself on her vanity mirror. A pleased sound escaped her lips once she saw her reflection.

“Not bad, Pines.” She commented, closing each eyelid at a time to examine them better. “I can’t believe you managed to use all the colors on my eyeshadow palette at once and without making it look tacky. I’m impressed.”

“I watch a lot of makeup tutorials online.” She chuckled proudly as she placed her hands on her hips. “Looks like the student has become the master.”

Suddenly they heard a loud groan echo through the hallway outside Pacifica’s room, one that sounded almost like a constipated moose during mating season.

“What was that?” Mabel gasped, jumping out of her seat. “Is it the Ghost of Christmas Future? Are you here to show me how boring my funeral will be?”

“No, I’m pretty sure that’s your brother.” Pacifica replied as she powdered her nose.

Surely enough, as if on cue, Dipper walked into the room, dragging his feet and groaning loudly as he threw his head back.

“Are you two done, yet?” he whined as he ran both hands over his face. “I’ve never been more bored in my life!”

“Hey, you think we just wake up like this?” Mabel retorted, gesturing between her and Pacifica. “Looking this good takes time and effort!”

“Why are you even going to that dumb party, anyway?” he asked as he plopped down on Pacifica’s bed.

“It’s supposed to be the hottest event of the year.” Pacifica replied as she carefully applied mascara on his eyelashes. “Anyone who’s anyone is attending, so obviously my mother and I had to be invited.”

“And I’m her plus-one!” Mabel added gleefully, wrapping an arm around Pacifica’s shoulder.

“Regardless…” Dipper groaned again, crossing his arms in exasperation. “Why did you have to drag me here? I’m not even going.”

“Moral support. And to tell us how good we look.” Mabel beamed.

“Great…” Dipper rolled his eyes.

“Relax, Broseph. We’re almost done. Just keep yourself busy for a little while longer.”

“I’ve been keeping myself busy the whole afternoon!” Dipper exclaimed as he threw his arms up. “I’ve walked through this entire house two times! And I’ve checked all the conspiracy blogs I follow, but there’s nothing good. Apparently they’ve all been overrun by flat Earthers.”

“Ugh, that’s so dumb! Why would anyone still believe the Earth is flat?” Mabel commented as she applied blush on her cheeks. “Why can’t the Earth have a more fun shape, like a banana?”

“Fascinating.” Pacifica laughed.

Dipper sighed and flopped backwards onto Pacifica’s bed, her cushioned comforter nearly enveloping him completely. He tried to drown out Mabel and Pacifica’s overly-enthusiastic conversation about different types of eyeliner by looking around the room, but the constant presence of the color pink on every single piece of furniture only gave him a headache. As he glanced over at Pacifica’s nightstand – also pink – he was surprised to find an issue of The Gravity Falls Gossiper.

“I didn’t know you read the newspaper, Pacifica.” Dipper said as he sat up and reached for the periodical.

“I don’t. That’s probably the butler’s. He likes to lounge around in our rooms during his breaks.” Pacifica commented dryly. “I mean, who even reads newspapers anymore? All the news are on the internet, now.”

Dipper ignored her last remark as he read the front page, which incidentally had been written about the social gathering that Mabel and Pacifica would be attending. It was a simple article about where and when the party would take place and the celebrity guests which were expected to attend the gathering. All that seemed fairly innocent, but what really spiked Dipper’s interest was the picture in the middle of the page, which showed, among other things, a black tiara decorated with emeralds.

“Hela’s tiara…” he muttered almost breathlessly, his eyes widening.

“Hella-what, now?” Mabel asked, cocking a brow at her twin.

“Hela’s tiara!” Dipper cried out as he jumped off the bed and showed the newspaper to the two girls. “The tiara used by the Norse goddess Hela! Legend says whoever wears it gains the ability to control people’s minds. I thought it was just a myth, but apparently it’s real! And it’s at the house where the party will take place! How is this possible?”

“That is so typical of the Vanderthorps.” Pacifica rolled her eyes in disgust. “They always have to show everyone up, so of course they’ll have some mythical headpiece just lying around their house.”

“This is huge! Do you have any idea what would happen if that Tiara fell into the wrong hands?” Dipper panicked. “I have to take it away! It’s the only way to save everyone!”

“And just how do you expect to do that?” Pacifica scoffed as she examined her fingernails. “Need I remind you that it’s an all-girls party?”

“I know, but there has to be a way to get me in there undetected!”

Mabel and Pacifica looked at each other, a mischievous grin spreading across their faces.

“Oh, there’s a way, alright.” Mabel giggled suggestively.

“Really?” Dipper exclaimed excitedly. “That’s grea–”

Dipper suddenly fell silent when realization dawned on him. He felt his heart sink and his pupils dilate involuntarily as the two girls before him shot him devious smirks.

“Oh no… Oh, no no no!” he protested as he backed away, waving his hands in front of himself. “Not gonna happen!”

“You want to get in that party, don’t you?” Pacifica spoke in an eerie calm manner as she and Mabel stepped closer to him. “This is the only way.”

“I don’t care, I refuse to go through with it!” Dipper said as he turned away from them and headed for the door. “I can just sneak in and – ”

He stopped in his tracks when he felt a sharp pain on his bottom; similar to a mosquito bite, but ten times worse. Before he even had time to turn around and see the hypodermic needle sticking out of his left buttock, he lost consciousness and fell over.

“I knew I was right to pack a tranquilizer gun this morning!” Mabel declared victoriously as she twirled the gun in her hand.

* * *

“Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!”

Dipper groaned as he opened his eyes and saw his twin sister and Pacifica hovering over him, both flashing him bright smiles. He tried to get up, but every inch of his body felt numb. Oddly enough, the only part of himself he could feel were the roots of his hair, which seemed to be tingling.

“Wha… What happened?” he mumbled, his mouth feeling incredibly dry. “Why do I feel paralyzed?”

“Oh, I may or may not have shot you with a tranquilizer dart.” Mabel grinned.

“You WHAT?!”

“But for a good reason! Thanks to us, you can now go to that party and get that tiara thingy! You’re welcome!”

She beamed at him, but Dipper was still having a hard time processing everything.

“What’re you –”

He trailed off when it finally hit him. He pushed himself up with the little strength that had returned to his body and walked towards Pacifica’s vanity mirror. When he saw his reflection, he screamed at the top of his lungs.

He was wearing one of Pacifica’s long purple shoulder-split dress with a white boa around his neck. He had long white evening gloves covering most of his arms, and when he glanced down, he saw he had on a pair of white heels, which he was surprised to be able to balance himself on. On each of his ears was one of Mabel’s heart-shaped hearings – had she pierced his hears while he was unconscious?! – and on his neck was a heart-shaped. His hair was now just as long as Mabel’s, its brown waves cascading down his back. His face was caked with makeup, especially his eyes, on which there was now purple eyeshadow and mascara.

He was frozen for a moment as he processed his new appearance. He stared at himself in astonishment, refusing to believe that was really him. He saw Mabel and Pacifica giggling madly behind him through the mirror, which was what finally broke his stupor. He clenched his fists and turned towards the two girls as he felt anger begin to bubble up inside.

“WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO TO ME?!” he shouted at them, to which they just broke out in laughter.

What _had_ Mabel and Pacifica done to him? Well, as soon as Dipper was knocked out by the tranquilizer dart, the two girls had dragged his unconscious body onto the bed and proceeded to give him a full body makeover. They were pleased to find that one of Pacifica’s dresses was exactly his size, and Pacifica had to look away while Mabel took off his clothes and slipped the dress on. The hard part was finding shoes that would fit his feet, considering that they were roughly two sizes bigger than Pacifica’s, but they managed to find a pair in her mother’s shoe closet, although they still had to make some effort to squeeze his feet into the white heels. Doing his hair was the easiest part of the whole makeover. Pacifica just happened to have some hair extensions she never used lying around, so while Mabel was busy putting on the extensions, Pacifica tended to his makeup, being extra gentle as she applied the powder foundation and the eyeshadow, as each time the brushes made contact with his face, it would twitch involuntarily. About an hour later, Dipper was ready to enter society as a lovely-looking young lady.

“I look like a circus attraction!” Dipper complained, stomping a foot against the floor.

“You look gorgeous!” Mabel countered. “I’ve always wanted a sister, and now I finally have one!”

“And now you can go to that party without a problem.” Added Pacifica.

“This is ridiculous!” Dipper protested as he adjusted the dress on his waist, which felt very constricting. “There’s no way this’ll work!”

* * *

“Wow, I can’t believe that actually worked.” Dipper commented in awe as he and the two girls walked past the security guard at the door and entered the mansion.

“Never question our skills again.” Said Pacifica as she and Mabel high-fived.

“OK, we need to keep a lookout for that tiara, so I need everybody to stay focused and –”

“No way! This party has karaoke?” Mabel squealed when she noticed the generously lit stage with a karaoke machine, where one of the guests was already showing off her vocal skills. “Out of my way, plebs!”

Dipper watched with his mouth agape as his twin charged towards the stage, elbowing everyone in her way.

“Alright…” he sighed disappointedly. “I guess it’s up to you and me, Pacifica.”

“Actually, I have to go greet the hosts.” She smiled sheepishly. “I need to make my presence known this evening.”

“Fine.” Dipper groaned. “You go mingle. _I’ll_ look for the tiara.”

After Pacifica wished him ‘good luck’ and headed towards another room where all the guests were socializing, Dipper began walking around the manor in search of Hela’s tiara.

He sought all through the house for the tiara, but it seemed nowhere to be found. He passed a large ballroom where some of the guests were dancing and a dining hall where some other guests were partaking in some canapes whilst chatting happily, but still no sign of the tiara.

He finally reached a room where it seemed like there was a fashion show taking place. There was a large runway stretching all the way from one end of the room towards the other, where some ladies were showing off their outfits to the sound of appropriate music.

“What kind of party is this?” Dipper said to himself.

“What up, Dip-Dop?”

Dipper nearly jumped out of skin when his sister sneaked up on him holding a metal tray full of hors d'oeuvres, followed by Pacifica.

“Where did you come from?” he panted from the scare. “I thought you were showing off your karaoke skills.”

“I was. And I killed it!” Mabel exclaimed before shoveling a hand-full of appetizers into her mouth.

“She literally killed it.” Pacifica deadpanned. “Her singing was so high-pitched that it broke the machine.”

“I’m glad you’re having fun and all, but I still haven’t found the tiara!” Dipper claimed angrily.

“It’s right over there.” Mabel declared nonchalantly as she pointed behind him.

Dipper’s gaze followed the direction in which Mabel was pointing, and surely enough he was able to spot Hela’s tiara in a glass display case at the other end of the room.

“Wow, it’s just sitting there! I can just take it without anyone noticing.” Dipper laughed as he took a step forward.

“Actually, you can’t.” Pacifica said as she grabbed him by the shoulder. “The tiara’s a prize.”

“A prize? For what?”

Pacifica pointed to the runway on her left with her thumb, where a teenager had just lost her balance and fallen flat on her face.

“The fashion show is also a contest.” She explained. “If you want the tiara, you’ll have to win it.”

“Alright, no problem…” Dipper sighed in contemplation. “One of you is just going to have to win the fashion show.”

“We already tried, and they hated us.”

“These people have no taste.” Mabel huffed.

“Then what do you expect me to do, enter the fashion show myself?” Dipper asked ironically.

Mabel and Pacifica shot him bright grins, and Dipper deeply regretted not having kept his mouth shut.

“Of course…” he groaned in defeat and slapped a hand against his forehead.

Dipper turned to face the large runway that spread across the room. He really didn’t want to have to go through that kind of humiliation, but if that was the only way to get his hands on that tiara, then he didn’t really have another choice.

After taking a deep breath, Dipper made his way to one of the ends of the runway, where there was a small flight of stair that lead to the top of the runway and a lanky woman in her mid-twenties with atrocious amounts of makeup on her face who was busy writing something on a clipboard.

“Excuse me, miss.” Dipper addressed her. “I’d like to enter the fashion show.”

“Name, age and whimsical fact about yourself.” She replied hoarsely without taking her eyes off the clipboard.

“Whimsical fact?” Dipper repeated confusedly.

“I got this!” Mabel exclaimed as she raced past him towards the woman and whispered something into her ear, to which the woman cocked a brow.

“Seriously?” the woman asked in disbelief and Mabel simply nodded. “Alright. Get up there, kid.”

Dipper took another deep breath and walked up the steps that lead to the runway. Once he was on the runway, he was suddenly aware of how many people were watching him, and he suddenly felt very self-conscious about himself.

The woman picked up a microphone and tapped it twice to check if it was on before speaking onto it.

“Our next contestant is…” she paused to check her notes. “…Lady Dippingsauce. She is thirteen years old and her favorite hobby is milking platypuses.”

“Seriously, Mabel?” Dipper muttered under his breath as he felt his cheeks burn.

He quickly composed himself and began walking down the runway with as much grace as possible, which proved to be very hard to accomplish in Pacifica’s heels. He was wobbling dangerously and was sure it wouldn’t be long until he would fall over.

Mabel and Pacifica pushed their way to the front of the crowd and began shouting instructions at him.

“Heel to toe! Heel to toe!” Pacifica yelled. “Keep you back straight! Don’t forget to move your hips!”

“And flip your hair!” Mabel shouted. “The hair is everything!”

Dipper was mortified, but he was determined to get that tiara at all cost. So he straightened his back, placed his hands on his hips and strutted down the runway like his life depended on it.

It didn’t take long before the crowd began applauding him. He swayed his hips and took each step to the rhythm of the music, and once he reached the end of the runway, he flipped his hair in a sassy way as he turned around and walked back in the opposite direction. He was surprisingly good at it.

“Yeah! Work it, girl!” Pacifica cheered.

“YASS QUEEN!” Mabel hollered.

Dipper reached the other end of the runway and struck a pose, which earned him a roaring applause. He couldn’t help but smile at himself as a wave of pride washed over him.

“Nice going, kid.” The woman who had announced him congratulated him. “Looks like you’re the winner.”

“I win?” Dipper exclaimed before breaking into excited laughter. “I win!”

“Congratulations, Lady Dippingsauce.” Said a middle-aged woman in a chartreuse evening gown – no doubt the hostess, Mrs. Vanderthorp – as she approached him, carrying Hela’s tiara in her hands. “You truly are the belle of the ball. Here is your crown.”

Dipper could barely contain his excitement as she placed the tiara on top of his head.

“Yes! I did it!” he cheered, carefully grabbing hold of the tiara and pulling it off of his head. “I finally have the –”

He stopped talking once a strange odor reached his nose.

“Is that… spray paint?” he asked as he turned the tiara over in his hands. “This is a fake! This isn’t Hela’s tiara!”

“Oh heavens, no.” Mrs. Vanderthorp laughed. “My dear, did you actually think that was the real thing? Hela’s tiara is just a myth! That’s just a replica we found online.”

“You never disappoint, Miranda.” Pacifica commented sarcastically as she and Mabel walked onto the runway.

“All that hard work and suffering…” Dipper whispered in disappointment. “For nothing.”

“Not for nothing! You’re the prettiest girl in the party!” Mabel declared as she took the tiara from him.

“Seriously, you have to teach some of those moves sometime… _Lady Dippingsauce_.” Pacifica snickered as she playfully elbowed him.

“I hereby crown you Town Princess!” Mabel declared as she placed the tiara back on her brother’s head.

Dipper was too distraught to react, so he just stood there as Mabel and Pacifica gave him side hugs, the latter pulling out her hot-pink cellphone and taking a selfie of the trio.


End file.
